The HSG and Fireworks

I knew there would be problems when I scheduled it. On the phone I was told 730, but on my chart it said 815. I couldn’t get an answer as to which, so we got there at 720.

And sat.

And sat.

After an hour and a half I got registered and was told I’d have to wait until the doctor ordered the test. Apparently that’s not what she did on June 13 when she wrote it on my chart.

After another while, I went to ask if I could schedule my follow up now or if I needed to wait until after the test was done. I could not schedule it at that time, in spite of ‘return two weeks after HSG’ also being on my chart.

Finally I was called to the desk at 930 and told to report to radiology. I wasn’t given any paperwork. All I had was my armband. So radiology sent me back upstairs for a pregnancy test. I got to stand around holding a tube of pee for almost half an hour! But we also got to see what a real positive looks like, and we snagged two of their tests for leaving us alone in the assessment room. That’ll teach em!

Back to radiology, and while we waited there, I got an email about changes to my chart. I thought I was going to have to harm some people, but the website wouldn’t freaking load, so they got a reprieve. I was finally called back.

Ian couldn’t come with me, which sucked because I already had tears welling up from all the crap so far.

But the tech was super nice, and when the OB/GYN came in she was nice, too, until I laughed heartily when she said ‘this is one of the first tests we do when you’re diagnosed with infertility.’ I explained that I’d been asking for an HSG for years, but I think my laughter soured our relationship. Whatevs. The radiologist was even more super nice than the tech, if that was possible.

I put on my mismatched pair of hospital gowns and hopped up on the table, where the radiologist whacked my legs with the shields on the machine. I really wanted the pillow for my butt instead of my head due to the ant bites, but I got a folded up sheet instead.

I scootched around until everybody was happy, and was speculumed without preamble. Thanks! I did get warned that the iodine swab would be cold. The catheter and balloon were no worse than the average pap, and I only felt the dye when she first began injecting it.

By craning my neck around to look at the monitor behind me and to my right, it appeared that my uterus is normally shaped and sized, and I saw dye spill out from both tubes. Unfortunately, I popped a whole lotta ant bites when I rolled to the left, so it was definitely a relief to roll back to the right. They got all their pictures, so after hearing about some nice pasty discharge to look forward to, I got to hop down again.

I must say, the absolute monstrosity of a pad they supplied me with was not the best introduction, as I’ve never used one before in my life. One of Abby’s size 5 diapers would have been smaller and thinner.

The OB/GYN said she’d schedule my follow up since they already had my chart. More on that later.

I practically pranced out, my only concern the gigantic pad, and Ian looked relieved. We went home to see how Abby and Uncle Thomas were making out. Pretty well! She absolutely adores Ian’s brother. We ran him to the bank and the pharmacy, and he offered to buy us lunch at Carl’s Jr since today was their grand opening.

It was so crazy busy. We got there and waited in line for parking, finally got inside and Abby and I snagged a table while the boys waited in line. Halfway through the meal, about two hours after the HSG, the cramping started. I might be able to finish my burger tomorrow, if I’m lucky. We took Thomas home, then home we went and Ian put Abby down at 2 while I went to bed.

I’d taken two Aleve at 7, because I didn’t know how long I’d have to wait and those last me the longest. It was too early for more, and Tylenol doesn’t really do anything for me, so I tried to hold still and tough it out.

Before my first round of Provera, I never had cramps. I was mystified by the girls who missed work or school for that reason. Then I found out, with a vengeance. This was worse. Just one step worse, but worse nonetheless. I had diverticulitis last year, and it felt just like that, only low and central instead of high and left.

I felt better as long as I didn’t move, and that hasn’t changed, although I bloated up quite a bit after Ian left for work at 3. I wasn’t looking forward to when Abby woke up, but hankfully, she slept until 420, and juice and snacks are on the top shelf in the fridge.

At least she’s old enough to understand Mom has a bobo, please don’t jump on her tummy. It probably helped that she couldn’t jump on me yesterday because I felt so crappy from the ant bites.

And I’ll freely admit we watched TV for most of the evening until Ian got home at 8. Snakes and pishies and puppy gogs on Animal Planet. I planted my butt on the couch and only got up twice for a refill and a diaper change. She is such a sweetheart when someone doesn’t feel good. I got so many hugs and kisses, along with a couple elbows
In the gut, but it happens.

Lucky for us, since we bring Abby back there Wednesday noons, the fireworks show was tonight. They set them off a mile from our house, so Ian and I have watched every Fourth and New Year’s eve that they’ve had a show since 2005. So she got to stay up for the 915 fireworks. And yay, she’s not scared of the booms as long as she can’t see them lighting the fireworks!

But it has been a long, long day, and I’m glad to be going to bed now. I hope I can get some sleep and feel more comfortable in the morning.


The Horror

Last night I was the first one to hop into bed. I got on my side and threw Ian’s cover back toward his side from where it ended up during Abby’s jump fest that afternoon.

You know how when you’re at the beach, and you’re packing up, and you pick up towels and they’re crunchy from all the sand? That’s what the bed felt like, and the comforter when I grabbed it and launched it across my body.

The crunchies? Those were ants. Definitely hundreds, for sure thousands, goodness-only-knows-how-many sugar and fire ants.

I jumped up, ever so thankful that Ian hadn’t laid down yet, screaming at him ‘out, out, OUT!!’ I know I scared him, but omg I had to get to the shower. He got out of my way, and I turned the water on and rubbed myself down like crazy.

Holy crap, that was a lot of ants.

I came out without bothering to towel off, and Ian was bundling everything up in the bottom sheet. I grabbed the bundle and told him to stop before I threw it all in the washer.

Ian is really, really allergic to ants. If he’d gotten the hundred-plus bites I got last night, he probably wouldn’t have made it to the hospital. So yeah, I didn’t want him touching any of that.

We filled up two 55 gallon trashbags of pillows, bedding, and clothes that I took outside and put in the empty kiddie pool. Gonna have a good ole time at the laundromat this afternoon after naptime.

Ian found a small hole under the carpet in the closet that they probably came from that he filled with rubber cement, because hey, that’s what we had.

When we thought they were all dead or captured and outside, we took a break and Ian counted my stings. He estimated 85, but it was hard to get an exact count with all the swelling. Around 60 are on my left butt cheek, so driving around delivering my papers this morning was not enjoyable. I have another 14 on my right hand, but at least I’m lefthanded. The rest are distributed everywhere else, like my neck, boobs, legs, and one on the bottom of my left foot. Now that they’re blistering, it seems he underestimated. I’ve got three and four in many spots that we only counted as two.

We were going to sleep on the couch and love seat, but after two hours, there were no more creepy crawlies under the bed, on my side, on his side, under the carpet in the closet, or in the water heater closet.

We decided to chance it. I snuck into Abby’s room for a fresh sheet, and Ian slept under camouflage while I had Sailor Moon. I joked that it smelled like we were at a hotel, because the covers had been in a chest for so long, and there was still a faint lingering odor of lemon-scented ant spray.

So today, the cleanup begins. But nap first.