Stacking the Deck

I think my body is snickering to itself because it thinks it’s clever. It’s naturally CD1 the day Ian’s going to pick up my Sprintec so I can have a period so I can have my HSG. Well, good on you, body, for having good timing, at least. I can call Monday to schedule my HSG, either for July 3 or 6. I’ll have my follow up two weeks later, so I’ll know whether or not I should get that last refill of letrozole.

I’m still going to take the BCPs this month, for a couple of reasons. One, so I won’t still be bleeding in July, but also to help out a bit next month. My biggest problem is high DHEA with Clomid resistance, so ‘withdrawal fertility’ after BCPs might give me a little kick. We’ll throw in some letrozole and the possibility that an HSG temporarily boosts fertility and the 15 pounds I’ve lost this month and heck, I might have as much as an extra 5% chance of getting pregnant next month!

Okay, I might be deluding myself. But I feel better. Even though we haven’t gotten our recommendation yet, all those nerve-wracking court-ordered cross-examinations are over. That worry isn’t taking over every minute of every day anymore. I can actually think about other things! And think about them without automatically assuming they’ll end up in the toilet.

Asthma, and Better News

I had my follow up appointment bright and early this morning with my awesome doctor. Aaand she said I probably have asthma.

I didn’t even know until last week that asthma was something that can just pop up under the right conditions. None of my family or close friends has asthma, so I never really learned much about it.

But apparently I had the right conditions. Bronchitis mixed with some good old normal hormonal changes. I joked with my husband that maybe if I didn’t have PCOS I’d have had asthma since high school.

Anyway, she wasn’t certain I have asthma, because it may still just be bronchitis leftovers, but we’ll see after a few more weeks of recuperation and eight puffs a day on my inhaler. Hopefully, even if I do have asthma, once the bronchitis is all gone, I’ll only need the inhaler for emergencies or less often.

Regarding other health issues, I’m down to one blood pressure pill a day, from three. Yay! My blood pressure’s been as low as 80/50 some evenings, which made standing tons of fun, and was 128/83 at the doctor this morning, when it’s usually the highest. I don’t think that can all be attributed to not smoking the past two weeks, so again, we’re going with the letrozole ‘normalizing’ me.

I’ve been feeling really good emotionally the past few days. Happy, even. In spite of fatigue and shortness of breath. If this keeps up, heck, I wouldn’t mind the risk of high cholesterol and osteoporosis and just take letrozole five days a month as long as I can. Seems a fair trade to me.

Just starting the two week wait now! This one is it.

Back to the Infertility Grind

For something that started as an infertility blog, I sure get off track sometimes, don’t I?

So, some pretty big news here: (no, not that big yet) I had a 29 day ovulatory cycle with my first round of letrozole! I only had to look at one negative, and that one only because I tested a day early, for our anniversary, y’know.

Today is now CD 8, and I finished taking round two yesterday, so I’m optimistically planning to get pregnant for my birthday on Saturday. I didn’t even have any side effects this time! Thank goodness, because I would definitely not have dealt well with any extra discomfort. The whole shortness of breath thing is still quite enough, thank you.

I’ve got to get in on this rash of pregnancies! Wish us luck!


So, um, yeah. Still not pregnant. Stupid body jerking me around again.

The plan now is a packet of birth control, then letrozole the first week of April.

My husband’s semenalysis came back fine, after a few days of phone tag with his doctor, so that’s one less thing to worry about, right?

I’ve been feeling awful. Depressed, useless, defective. I do have things to say, but they aren’t coming out the way I want them to, so I’ve just been photo challenging it up. Belle, you’re awesome. Thank you.

The Break is (Almost) Over

The new year is coming soon, and it’s also time for us to start a new chapter in our TTC story. It’s CD21 today, so the plan right now is basically just looking at the calendar to decide when we want to throw some more money at this whole infertility thing. Then I’ll start a round of provera so I can try letrozole next cycle.

It’s kind of funny, I plan and plot so much when and how and what the next step will be, but I never actually think about what would happen if something worked. Surely, if I had no faith at all that something would work, I wouldn’t put myself through this. Surely, if I had no hope at all, I would stop trying. Right?


I don’t know. I really don’t. I know this is easy to say now, but if we were childfree, I would be okay with being childfree. But we’re not. And being a part-time mom just makes me want even more to be a full-time mom. I don’t want to share. I feel like that sounds horribly selfish, but I don’t care.

I really do not understand at all how my mother could send my sister and I across the country every year for the whole summer. Especially after that summer she came to pick us up and our toothbrushes were still packed. My dad was not a big hygiene enforcer. Heck, he didn’t even tell us to bathe, hopefully just because we swam so much.

I’m way off subject.

Anyway…I have an OB/GYN who will prescribe me letrozole, and then tamoxifen if that doesn’t work. Maybe I’ll go back to the women’s clinic when (if) they replace the RE who abandoned me. Still debating on filing a complaint with the state Board of Review over that debacle. Either way, 2012 is covered.

And then I’ll be 35.

Maybe that’ll be the cutoff. Maybe we’ll see how this next year goes and decide from there. I’m so tired of the waiting.

Six years is a long time.