Even More Hospital Fun

Today was my ultrasound, yay!

However, AF came yesterday with a vengeance. As in almost as heavy as the time I had to go to the emergency room a couple years ago.

So I started off the day spending twenty minutes on hold trying to talk to my doctor to see if she wants me to come back sooner than six weeks from now.

Only to find out she wasn’t in the clinic today, and her nurse was at lunch. So I took her next available appointment two weeks from today.

When I made the ultrasound appointment a month ago, the receptionist told me to go to radiology in the main building. She was wrong, but on our way out, who did we run into but my doctor! While my husband went to get the car, I told her what was going on, and she told me to come see her on the 14th, but if anything happened between now and then to give her a call, and good luck starting my clomid tomorrow. I love my doctor.

We got to the right building, but after I checked in, even though I already had to pee, I had to wait an hour, drinking water. Which was ultimately pointless, because when the tech checked me, she said my bladder wasn’t full enough, but she’d just let me go to the restroom instead of making me wait longer.

Once she started playing around with wandy, she asked if I had any kids. I think talking about kids was her entire small talk repertoire, because when I told her no, she had nothing else to say.

But good news, everyone! My ovaries didn’t look like popcorn! They’re round and not polka dotted! I’ve never seen that before. How awesome is that? I know I’m about to mess em all up again with clomid, but at least they have some glamour shots now to go on their permanent record.

And tomorrow, clomid, counselor, and let the crazies begin again!

Newsy News Stuff

I called the pharmacy to refill my
Clomid today. I didn’t have the prescription number, so I had to give the nice lady my name and birthdate. What was the first thing she offered to refill? The birth control. Ha! I’m going the other way this month.

I’m trying to remember if I took it in the morning or the evening last time, because it worked then. I think it was morning. Any advice on that?

In other news, my blood pressure has been good for over a week now! I’ve learned to take one when I wake up, one in the afternoon, and two at bedtime, because two in the morning was just knocking me out. I’m still adjusting to this dosage, but I can make it through the day now without absolutely needing a nap to function. I won’t turn one down, though.

It’s back to the counselor Thursday, and I realize that I haven’t given any more thought to wants since I posted about it last week. I don’t think that’s the idea, so I’ll make an effort to do so.

I’m not a fan of Paula Deen, but I saw her on Food Network making some cinnamon rolls a couple weeks ago, and they have been on my mind ever since. I’m thinking we need to pick up some brown sugar and butter, and I’ll make cinnamon rolls Wednesday. Sound good?

I’ll know when my husband gets to that part because his eyes will get big, and he’ll look at me, nod, and say ‘uh huh!!’ I love you sweetie!

I figure he could use some spoiling, because this weekend’s not gonna be easy.

Only one more day of NaBloPoMo!! I won’t toot my own horn yet, but I’ll tell you, I’m glad it’s almost over. So much pressure! I like posting most days anyway, but it’s another thing to promise to the interwebs that I will.

Enough rambling! Maybe I’ll have something more coherent tomorrow.

The Plan

Well, after much thought and debate, I’m going back on my word and giving clomid one more shot.

Wednesday will be my last day of birth control, so next week will be the last round. And I mean it this time! If this one doesn’t work, it’s on to letrozole with no second thoughts.

So here we go again, I’ll list all the reasons this cycle will be the cycle. I’ve been on metformin for over five months this time. I’ll be fresh off birth control so there may be some rebound fertility. I’m not stressing about money because we got rid of that car. It’s time for this to work. We’re seeing a counselor. I’m writing this post on Chinese New Year.

Okay, maybe I’m reaching. But we think it’s worth another try, so we’re gonna do it.

What am I thinking?

It’s good to get back on the horse.

That Means It’s Working, Right?

Late afternoon on a Friday. My husband works five to eleven Fridays, so I’m home alone, snuggled up in bed with lots of pillows, covers, and a warm sock full of hot beans because we’re out of rice. I’ve got a good, thick book (Chainfire by Terry Goodkind), my iPhone (full of blogs to catch up on), and my favorite PS2 game (Champions of Norrath) ready to play.

What did I do to deserve such a lovely evening of rest and relaxation? Good ol’ lefty decided to start acting up a bit. Hasn’t hurt like this since the successful cycle in June. That means it’s working, right? That would be nice.

So I’ve got plenty of time for a quick update, and then a comment or two here and there, and then maybe a chapter.

I’m still having those moments where the tears just show up uninvited, but only two or three of those so far today. Mostly, I feel good. I feel optimistic. I feel encouraged. I feel loved. I have an amazing husband, and I am really grateful for that. I love you sweetie!!

Being the competitive overachiever that I am, I had originally determined to be an Iron Commenter during this, my first ICLW. I finally talked myself into understanding that the world would not end if that didn’t happen, that I do have a couple of prior obligations, and that it won’t mean any less to those of you whose blogs I do get the chance to comment on. So, I guess I just replaced one challenge with another, but that’s okay. Now to return some of these wonderful comments I’ve been receiving!

The Last Dose

CD7. Today I took my last dose of clomid. Forever? Boy, do I hope so. This treatment cycle has been the worst I’ve had. Although, now that I think about it, I haven’t had any hot flashes yet, and those usually start on CD5.

This was my first cycle with metformin and clomid together. I tried metformin for almost a year with my gyn, then stopped, then six (one successful ovulation!) rounds of clomid with my RE. Since I can’t see my RE again until December, I’m doing the combo with another gyn.

On to the details of this week.

First dose of clomid was Sunday. Pretty much the normal first day, maybe even a little better. I felt good, and I felt good about myself. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Monday, not so good. Not so bad, but not so good. I felt a little sadder than usual, and that doesn’t usually start until the fourth dose. A couple tears in the evening.

Tuesday morning is when it slapped me in the face. Just once though, and not too hard. I got up to finish the work I didn’t finish Monday, and started crying in the car before I was out of the driveway. I’m glad it was one of the good customers instead of a mean one. When I got home, I went straight to the bed and flopped down to cry and cry. My husband ended up staying home from work because he was worried about me. It is such a blessing for his job to be so flexible. Most of the afternoon was okay, but I started crying again in the evening.

Yesterday was hell. I don’t remember the last time I felt so horrible so consistently. I cried through writing yesterday’s post, I cried through fixing breakfast, I cried through everything. My husband and I had a talk about some things, but that wasn’t what I was unhappy about, they were just things that needed to be discussed. I cried while he was at his appointment, I cried when he got home, you know the drill. I cried on the phone with my mom because I tried to tell her about the crying. I have never found a need to use the phrase ‘abject misery,’ but that was me yesterday. Bonus! Yesterday also brought the news that I may be lactose intolerant.

Last night I was terribly afraid I would wake up this morning and be utterly unable to get out of bed. I dreaded today like I have few days in my life. But it’s okay. I am okay. I was so scared that today would be the most horrible day there ever was, and it’s not. It’s not a good day, but not a bad one. Even though I do have to give up milk.

I greatly appreciate everyone who commented on yesterday’s post. Thank you so much for the comfort. I think that’s what made all the difference.