Rumpelstiltskin Redux

Have you heard the story of Rumpelstiltskin? Go have a quick read if not.

*****

I was minding my own business, see, plucking a chicken for tomorrow’s dinner, and I felt this tugging, tugging, tugging at me. I groaned to myself, because I knew what it was. Ever since that witch taught me how to spin straw into gold, whenever someone has an impossible task assigned to them, I get called.

And it doesn’t even have to be spinning straw into gold. Once I got pulled away after someone wanting a goose that laid golden eggs. I don’t know the first thing about poultry, other than killing it and cooking it for my supper. Didn’t matter. I was up next, so I got the summons.

But this was the third night in a row, and that never happens. It shouldn’t be my turn again so soon. Two nights in a row was bad enough, but I guess it was because that girl and I hit it off so well that I jumped the line to help her out again. She looked so poor, I don’t see how it would be her again. She wouldn’t have anything left to give me. Unless…

*****

I was right. It was her again, and she was desperate enough to agree to hand over her firstborn. What a laugh! When they think they’re in it up to their necks, they’ll agree to anything. No wonder the witches always go after kids. It’s so satisfying to con someone out of a jam with the one thing that they’ll never give up without a fight.

Anyway, it’ll be a while, I’m sure. She’s not even married yet. Just a slip of a girl herself. Hopefully I’ll have a bit of a vacation while I’m waiting, no more of this three nights in a row stuff. That’s too hard on a body.

*****

That didn’t take nearly as long as I expected! The king liked that little girl enough to marry her straight off, and any day now, I’ll have my final reward. I don’t expect she’ll put up too much of a fight. She was just a poor miller’s daughter after all, and now she’s queen, with anything her little heart desires. There’ll be other children, I’ll tell her, and she’ll hand him right over, no questions asked, I’m sure of it.

*****

That did not go as planned. That dirty little wench refuses to listen. It’s only one child, after all, not her whole kingdom! What happened to honoring a contract? What happened to the value of personal sacrifice? What happened to my grand plan?

It’ll be alright, though. I gave her three days to guess my name, and I know that’ll never happen. She only guessed three names today, and I told her I’d be back tomorrow, so come up with some good ones. Ha! She could guess from sunrise to sunset all three days. She could guess without sleeping the whole time. Even if I gave her a year, or ten years, she’d never guess the name Rumpelstilitskin!

*****

So far, so good, as I expected. She didn’t even keep me there an hour! And I laughed in her face when all she could come up with was the same old Fred and Ted nonsense that everyone else does. Tonight I feast and dance around the fire, singing songs of her failure. Tomorrow I’ll be coming home with that sweet babe in my arms.

*****

Prompt Miscellanea

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