Sensing Fashion to a Tee

I don’t wear tshirts. Okay, I take that back; I have one tee, it’s an ugly brown and has a tiny useless pocket on the left breast and the deep v shows my sports bra. 

But I don’t wear shirts logoed within an inch of their life. I don’t advertise brand names or support my favorite teams or express cleverly snide sentiments. Not that I can’t appreciate these things; a guy just walked past me in a baby pink shirt with a screen printed pink-frosted yellow donut, and I smiled and nodded at him. You can’t argue a bold donut shirt. 

I would love to be the average boringly-dressed person in a tee, jeans, and sneakers, but I can’t. See, I have to be wearing something uniquely me at all times, because the outfit you die in is your ghost outfit forever. Everybody knows that. 

I feel bad for all these TapouT douche bags. Mildly bad. A smidgen. Not really much at all, but the sentence flowed in the narrative, so what could I do?

I do have half a dozen sleeveless shirts in varying colors, and that’s as close as I get. I’m not sure when the swthe you flipped. I used to wear tshirts.

When I was at a summer program at NSU in Natchitoches I was known for my tees featuring Socks the cat–the Clintons’ cat when they were in the White House.

And later in high school I wore the traditional grunge wear: band tees under flannel button ups. I had the GNR The Spaghetti Incident? shirt that everyone said looked like worms. And now that I know how much it goes for on eBay, in hindsight I should have kept it. 

One of my friends and I had matching Joe Boxer shirts. We bought the one I liked. I don’t remember what it said, but I’m pretty sure that she didn’t like it because the humor went over her head. 

I think I forgo tshirts now because I’m judged enough on my physical appearance. I don’t need to provide another avenue for the public’s disgust.

That and you can’t show your shape in a tshirt. They’re boxy and cover up more than most things I wear. It’s hot in Louisiana, and clothes only make that worse. 

But I’m pretty sure I’d wear a shirt with a radish on it. 


4 Comments on “Sensing Fashion to a Tee”

  1. LRose says:

    My sister had a t-shirt/sweat shirt design company. Cute stuff by several artists with either their clever puns, or my sister’s, at a time when stuff-on-t-shirts was all the rage. Took me years to want to wear a t-shirt again, but never went back to stuff on t-shirts.

  2. abbiosbiston says:

    I’m very funny about slogans and things on my t-shirts… they’re mostly just stripy.

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