Theresa and CoreenPosted: November 5, 2015
Coreen was the younger; she hated the color of lima beans, the sound of a glass cookie jar being opened, and the smell of Theresa’s breath.
Theresa was the taller sister; she wanted to feel intimidating, so she wore heels exclusively, to accentuate her height.
Coreen was the shorter sister; she didn’t understand the importance that Theresa placed on her half-inch advantage.
Theresa was the antisocial sister; she never spoke to anyone when she was in school, she refused to utilize public transportation, and she did not partake in social media.
Coreen was the social butterfly sister; she was invited to every party, she volunteered for everything she could, and she had two Wheatons of followers on Twitter.
Theresa was the healthy eater; she always turned down carbs for veg, she never drank soda, and she shunned ice cream.
Coreen was the fast food junkie; she never met a fried food she didn’t like, she hated the taste of water, and she consumed red meat daily.
Theresa loved fashion to the exclusion of hygiene; she was always up to date on the latest Paris fashions, she designed her own jewelry, and she sewed her own clothes.
Coreen cared more about her skin than her clothing; she bathed fastidiously, she cleansed and moisturized ritually, and she exfoliated twice a week.
In spite of all their differences, the only thing their parents cared about was their unconventional physical appearance, and they forced the girls to suffer much medical misfortune before they were old enough to run away and be themselves. After that, they lived happily ever after.