Waitress Ex Machina

A Rabbit, a Virgin, and a number 7 walk into a bar. It’s okay, though. They’re actually people, not concepts. The Rabbit is Sarah, the Virgin is Jessica, and the number 7 is numerology aficionado Michelle. They’re just here to have a drink, not to be a punchline.

Sarah’s sound counsel serves them well in their selection of a table in a corner, rather than seats at the bar itself. Seconds after they arrive, a fight breaks out at the bar, and an innocent bystander is knocked to the ground when a rowdy fellow patron tries to pick up the stool she was perched on.

Michelle notes that if everyone were as spiritual as she, we could all elevate ourselves above this petty physical argumentativeness.

Jessica’s compassionate self is only concerned with the wellbeing of the bystander, and she is relieved to see the poor girl rise, dust herself off, and order another drink.

Michelle points out that they’ve been at their table four minutes now, and she is just about to rise to fetch a round of drinks when the waitress appears. They order Bloody Marys all around.

When the drinks arrive, the trio is deep in conversation about that day’s work. The office that employs all three has been suffering from a deplorable lack of morale lately, and they decided that it was time to rectify this situation.

Michelle stands firm in her belief that an office-wide workshop on teamwork would change things drastically.

Jessica honestly thinks that everyone gets along fine; it’s the work itself that’s bringing everyone down. It’s hard to be enthusiastic about selling gimmicky mail order items. Maybe a weekly drawing for a massage would get the office going.

Sarah debates strongly for a fresh coat of paint on the walls. More restful colors are exactly the solution they need.

They argue passionately yet politely for and against each point of view.

The waitress brings another round.

An hour after arriving, the three agree that each idea has merit. They vow to approach their boss with these plans the next morning.

As they ask the waitress for the check, she hands each of them a flyer.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she says, “but I overheard some of your conversation, and it happens that I’m a masseuse married to a painter, and our church is hosting a team building workshop next month. I hope to see you there!”

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3 Comments on “Waitress Ex Machina”

  1. LRose says:

    Simple solution! I’m guessing…just guessing here, of course…that all three would love the simplicity and efficiency of “problem solved.” Great take. And see…you didn’t need all 36 to make the story work! You are, however, welcome to try 😉

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