Welcoming Myself BackPosted: January 10, 2014
It’s time to return. It’s time to get back to writing. It’s time to get back to feeling like myself.
It’s been so long!! I’m sorry–to you, my friends and readers, and to myself. I made a mistake.
At first I thought the mistake was in going back to my old job in the first place; sure, it was nice to have that extra money, but *cue drama* at what cost? I dunno, it was fun for a while. It was fun at first, and then it just had its moments. I think the part that I missed was the competition.I know I was the best assistant manager in the company, mostly because I had absolutely no ambition to move up, so I could throw everything I had into improving the store where I was instead of being distracted by keeping a lookout for who I could steal a job from.
By the way, this is past tense because–dun dun dun! I quit last month.
Anyway, no competition. And then I had enough of the backstabbing. And then I just couldn’t take physically being there anymore, constantly reliving the Very Bad Time (©SRB) from 2009.
But the competition. I need that.
I mean, who can I compete with around here for the title of best wife/mom? It’s me by default, and that’s not how I like to win.
I can come back home, here, and write. I can compete against myself again, participate in challenges, stuff like that. Yay me!
It feels like quite a few of my blogging ‘class’ is on hiatus right now. I’m not the only one who thinks of people that way, am I? The first bloggers I befriended/befriended me. You know what I mean.
When I read Kathy’s most recent post I felt a little better, for not being the only one who feels this way.
This is so hard. I used to just sit down and whip out a few hundred words at the drop of a hat, for crying out loud. Look at me now, a good twenty minutes in and struggling to keep my head above water. I don’t know the last time I felt so awkward at a keyboard, even a pen and paper. My fingers want to go all out, but I don’t have any messages to send them to transcribe.
But what else is a new year for? Objectively, it’s just a day like any other day, but subjectively, it’s different. It’s time for change and goals and all that happy crappy.
I keep seeing this Zero to Hero thing from WordPress–I’ll start with that.
I’ll go back to all the things I promised to share with you, well, over two months ago. And share them.
I have this vague idea for a fiction bloggy collaboration kind of thing. Anyone perk up at that?
And I’ll finish that damn sequel. After I get it off Lappy and bring it over to Lappy 2.0. Eventually.
Good? Good. Let’s-a go! Sorry, too much Mario around here lately.