R is for Redo

There’s a question I have to answer by Monday, when we turn our foster/adopt application in. I can’t come up with an answer besides nothing.

If I could change something about my childhood, what would it be?

I can’t come up with anything, because I have worked so hard on acceptance.

Ian suggested that it be my dad not moving to Colorado, so that I still would have been able to see my friend there every summer.

I never would have thought of that. I never would have imagined changing someone else’s choice that affected my life.

Even though I’m only hypothetically making a change, I only consider my own choices, my own changes, my own life, nothing that would alter someone else’s life. I don’t know how they would feel about it. I’m afraid of hurting someone else and causing them to want to hurt me in return.

But I don’t want to think about changing any part of my life, either. I’ve spent far too much time contemplating the cascading avalanche of cause and effect. My life now may not perfect, but it’s what I know. It’s who I am.

And I can’t think about the what ifs, the what might have beens. I can’t go down that road because I know nothing good waits for me at the end.

I don’t want to make any changes. I don’t know what result that change might lead to. I worked hard to deal with the results that I live with, and I’m not going to risk wasting all that time and effort.

I’m satisfied with the choices I’ve made.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

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9 Comments on “R is for Redo”

  1. “I don’t want to make any changes. I don’t know what result that change might lead to. I worked hard to deal with the results that I live with, and I’m not going to risk wasting all that time and effort.

    I’m satisfied with the choices I’ve made.

    I wouldn’t change a thing.”

    Sounds to me like you have your answer my friend…. 😉 I think your experiences and life have made you in to the wonderful person you are…Why change? Sending hugs….

  2. Kate says:

    I agree with Thought Provoking Moments. You should put that down verbatim on the application. It is a thoughtful, truthful response. Which is what they are looking for.

    Like you, I wouldn’t be able to find anything to change, either. I loved my childhood. In every single way. And it has made me who I am today, probably more than any other single time I can think of in my life. It is my foundation.

  3. Hello! What a question. I’m not sure how I would answer that either! Good for you for living with no regrets. Wishing you many blessings and lots of good luck with the adoption process!!

    Happy A to Z-ing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines

  4. I really like what you said. A great answer might be, “no childhood is perfect, but I’ve come to peace with mine. I wouldn’t change anything.”

    As a social worker, I wrote more than a hundred home studies. That answer would have definitely encouraged me to ask some questions in the interview, and hopefully discover the truth that – wow, this applicant has a realistic, mature grasp on the world 🙂


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