Failure to Vlog

When I read about PAIL’s vlogiversary surprise, I was super excited to make a video! But what with all four of my parents just stopping by this week, I failed to make the time. So here’s my Q&A, in the same printed words you’ve always known me in. Maybe next time?

1. What country do you live in? If you feel comfortable sharing, what state or region as well? I’m in northwest Louisiana, in the southern US.

2. What is your favorite “ordinary moment” of the day? My favorite part of every day is the time either before or after Ian and I get into bed, when we’re catching each other up on our days or laughing again over highlights.

3. What is the first thing you do with your little one in the morning? Snuggles! I wake up to Abby’s doorknob rattling, then a herd of elephants thumping down the hall, throwing our door open, and crawling up the bed to lie down between us. She either brings her blanket, or cuddles up under Dad’s covers.

4. What has infertility changed the most about you? It’s very hard for me to separate the influences of infertility, infidelity, and depression. They really all blend together most of the time. I think what infertility specifically has changed the most is my faith in humanity. I have only once been treated as poorly as I have been by medical ‘professionals’ in seeking treatment for PCOS and assistance conceiving, and that was one person. Out of the dozens of doctors, nurses, and receptionists that I’ve come into contact with regarding infertility, over two-thirds have been dismissive, derisive, neglectful, or simply unconcerned. It hurt and hurt until it didn’t anymore, and I just became disgusted. I don’t want to be desensitized to people being assholes; I want assholery to be the exception, but for me, it was the rule.

5. What do you wish people knew about pregnancy or parenting through the ALI journey? That parenting and pregnancy aren’t mutually inclusive. Just as pregnancy does not always lead to parenting, parenting does not always stem from the parent’s pregnancy. Why does a complete stranger want to know about my child’s birth weight? I don’t know that; I don’t need to know that. I know she was healthy. That’s all that I need to know, and more than people that I don’t know need to know. Pet peeve, y’all! I had to throw some accent in since I didn’t vlog, right?

6 Comments on “Failure to Vlog”

  1. Fiona says:

    Great to hear from you even if you didn’t get a chance to submit a vlog this time. Next time!! Because there should definitely be a next time! 😉

    Your morning snuggles sound so nice. I hope Alidia gets to the point where she actually enjoys snuggling in our bed and not just crawling all over us, biting our cheeks (this happens and it hurts!).

    Loved your answer for #5!! “Just as pregnancy does not always lead to parenting, parenting does not always stem from the parent’s pregnancy.” Perfect. This needs to be posted somewhere to remind the world.

    #4… so sorry that happened to you. That truly sucks 😦 Hugs.

    Thank you for sharing your answers!

  2. J o s e y says:

    Ugh, I am so sorry that you had such horrible experiences with medical professionals in the ALI world. I am beyond thankful that other than my first OB, everyone else agreed with me that there were medical issues and I needed help and they gave me that help. You deserved better than you got.

    You have had such a convoluted journey to parenthood – you are so correct that pregnancy and parenting aren’t mutually inclusive by any flip of the coin. I’m so thankful you have Abby as your daughter!

  3. SRB says:

    It was always *shocking* to me when professionals in this speciality did not have much (or ANY) bedside manner whatsoever. It sucks that this has been your overall experience . I am so sorry for this. It is more than insult to injury – it is injury to injury. Excellent use of “assholery” btw.

    Your #5 is very important to remember. I appreciate how you answer the random questions from random people. It blows my mind the insanely personal shit people will ask perfect strangers because they have a kid. I wish more people were more circumspect about family-building, for sure.

    Glad you participated!!! 🙂

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