And After Calming Down a Bit…

I’ve been home a few hours now, and had a chance to calm down a bit after all the fun I had this morning. It’s time to be more realistic. How am I going to make it four weeks? The same way I made it the last four weeks, or four months, or four years. One manageable unit of time at a time.

Right now it’s minutes, because I’m trying to avoid thinking about my husband having to go to work in two and a half hours…

And after a nap that wasn’t nearly long enough, here I am to finish this post.

I don’t know. I probably sounded like I expected everything to be all better when I left there this morning, but I didn’t really expect that, although it sure would have been nice!

I did not expect to have to wait another month to see a counselor, and that part really was disappointing. But what can I do?

I do feel a small bit better. Although I’ll be seeing someone else for counseling, I liked the social worker I talked to this morning, and I was able to tell her things that I may never be able to talk about here. So I guess that was a start.


14 Comments on “And After Calming Down a Bit…”

  1. Mo says:

    I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard day 😦
    But I am so proud of you for taking the first step toward getting some help. That’s always the hardest part. Sending you a huge hug.

  2. I’m with Mo. You’re being very brave, taking care of yourself (and thus those around you). I’m sorry you have to wait a whole month, and I hope the time passes quickly. *hugs*

  3. Emily says:

    You are brave for finally taking care of you. Seeking help and letting things out that you need to.

  4. teri says:

    You can do it…we’re here for you…so glad you are taking care of yourself. Hugs to you!!! 🙂

  5. Oooh, I’ve been there! I agree, you’ll get through the next 4 weeks the same way you got through the last 4. It sucks and you’ll probably need to set small goals (getting through the day, week, whatever), but you won’t be waiting forever! Are you on some kind of list in case they have a cancellation before then? Depression sucks. I know it’s not the same, but have you tried exercising or full spectrum lights or anything like that? I’ve found those things help me keep the depression at least somewhat under control when I’m struggling (like while TTC).

    • aprilvak says:

      Sarah, you’re so right. I stopped playing WiiFit and DDR a couple months ago, mostly because of a toddler constantly up my butt, but I really need to get back to that.

  6. I’ve been kinda holed up in my own little world worrying about myself and I came out of it to check up and see how you were doing. I’ve missed a few posts and just caught up. I’m sorry things are so tough right now and I hope the next 4 weeks go quickly. I hate waiting. Doesnt it seem that its all just 1 big waiting game? Depression is hard. I was feeling so much better on the medication and have done a total back slide the past week or so. 1 step forward, 2 steps back. But you are TRYING and thats what counts. And in regards to your other posts, we ARE here for you. I am here for you. Like I said, I came out of seclusion to see what was up with you. Thats no lie. You are in my thoughts.

  7. Hang in there, honey! You’re taking the right steps to make yourself feel much better. I hope the next four weeks go by very quickly. Take it one day at a time.


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