ReCycling, and a Job Opening

Today is CD1. The last one for a while. Because this is IT. I’ve got the right drug cocktail, I’ve got the right fertility fetishes (not that kind of fetish, dirty minds!), I’ve got the right mindset.

I have to wonder, though. Can you have too much of a good thing? Can I be too positive and optimistic? Wouldn’t it be kinder to my fragile little psyche if I were a little more cautiously optimistic? I really did stop to seriously consider this, and do you want to know what I came up with?

I don’t care.

It may be kinder, but I don’t care. It may be more logical, but I don’t care! I don’t care if I’m too positive, I don’t care if I’m too optimistic. I don’t care if it’s good for me, I don’t care if it’s bad.

I have spent my entire life trying to be prepared for the worst. Guess what that has taught me. Go ahead. I’ll give you a minute.

Trying to be prepared for the worst has taught me that it’s impossible. If the worst does come, you’re not ready for it. The worst is, by definition, pretty darn bad. The worst is actually worse than you thought it could be. And since the actual worst is worse than the worst you made any kind of plans for, you’re screwed either way. You’ve either wasted your time worrying about the bad tomorrow that never came, or you’ve been slapped in the face by your biggest nightmare times ten.

Well, I quit.

All that’s done for me is make me feel bad about myself. I’m tired of feeling bad about myself, and there’s actually plenty of reason for me to feel good about myself. I’m going to focus on that for a while.

So if you’re looking, a spot has just opened up for a Negative Nancy, because I’ve thrown in the towel. No benefits, and you have to train yourself. No pay, but if you’re really good at it, you can make others miserable as well as yourself.

See? It’s working already. I put a positive spin on negativity!

---