We Need Help

I…don’t know how to begin. I’m not one to ask for help. Call me stubborn, call me afraid, whatever. I’ve always said I’ll do it myself.

Only this time I can’t. We can’t. And we are pursuing every avenue we can think of for help.

If you’ve been with me a while, you may remember that Ian and Abby’s mama have joint custody. She has moved 143 miles away, without notice. This is more than an inconvenience; it’s illegal.

Much more has happened, and most of it violates either the current custody ruling or state law.

Worst of all, it’s hurting Abby.

Ian’s parents have been married for almost 36 years. Mine have been separated since I was about a year older than Abby, so almost 32 years. He’s lived in this town his whole life. I’ve moved sixteen times with one or the other of my parents. I attended six different elementary schools. It is hard to go back and forth, to not know where you’ll be when you go to mom’s house or dad’s house. It is hard to start a new school, to make new friends, to learn a new town.

The only place that stayed the same was my maternal grandparents’ home. I can still perfectly recall every room, every stick of furniture, the front yard, the back yard, the neighboring houses. I was only there for about a week every year or two, but that house was what home meant to me. It was constant.

Abby’s constant is here, our home. We have lived here since 2005. For as long as we’ve been a part of her life, her room has been her room. She notices when we change anything. This morning she asked when we would get our old fridge back, because she misses it.

On the other hand, her mama has moved four times in the past three years. Abby has struggled every time, crying and telling us she how much misses her old room or her old house. All we can do is reassure her that she will always have her room here.

Abby deserves a home that will always be home. She will still have to deal with going back and forth between her parents, but she will know that she has the same room here that she has always had. And we will know that she will always be here when she is supposed to be here.

But here is the part that grates on my pride. Ian has fourteen days left to object to the move, and the only lawyer we’ve found willing to take the case–since he helped write the relocation laws–requires a $7500 retainer, all up front. We can’t pull that out of thin air. We don’t have it, and our property isn’t worth enough to get a loan that size. Ian has set up a fundraising campaign on Fundly. Please, if you can help us out with a dollar or two, or if you know anyone who can, spread the word.

Even if all you can offer is moral support, please, please do so.

And if there is ever something you need help with, don’t hesitate to ask.

Thank you.

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5 Comments on “We Need Help”

  1. Stasy says:

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could offer more than hugs. (Unfortunately, my sister is dealing with the same thing with her ex moving and what we had to spare, we lent to her.) I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping it works out for you guys and Abby.

  2. tigger62077 says:

    I’ve boosted the signal. It’s all I can do at the moment but maybe it will help. I’m so sorry she’s doing this. My first thought, before even getting through the post, was “wait, she can’t do that. It’s illegal!” and…yeah. I hope to the high heavens someone can fix this for you!

  3. Bree says:

    Oh gosh, I know I’m a bit late in this…but for whatever reason, it didn’t show up in my reader?!?! I will also spread the word….how about a re-blog??

    I’m so very sorry April. :( I wished I could do more. You’re in my thoughts and prayers mama…..


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